YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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