take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
