What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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