My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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