We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize