Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
