You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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