You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize