I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"