i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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