And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
