just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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