YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
