I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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