Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He passed out mid-signature
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
