he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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