When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
