When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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