Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
