This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
