I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
