Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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