So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
