So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
