She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
