Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
