At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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