he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
