I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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