Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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