I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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