there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize