the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
