break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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