Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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