Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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