She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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