Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
