She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
