My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
