OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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