Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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