hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
