No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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