she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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