they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
