but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
