Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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