We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
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He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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