This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
