whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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