if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
