i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
