I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Only a mothe r could love this liver
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?