Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink. (630): if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan. http://tfl.nu/ows1
  Replies (6) Good night (1397) Bad night (1613)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh
  Replies (21) Good night (828) Bad night (6220)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would. http://tfl.nu/x08w
  Replies (16) Good night (4074) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1156) Bad night (4344)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving http://tfl.nu/e1pp
  Replies (13) Good night (4793) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug http://tfl.nu/1b7i
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (3000)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  He was spoon feeding me wine all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): He was spoon feeding me wine all night. http://tfl.nu/fggg
  Replies (4) Good night (3202) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm. http://tfl.nu/jyta
  Replies (19) Good night (815) Bad night (4656)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from. http://tfl.nu/jlyb
  Replies (2) Good night (1934) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride http://tfl.nu/vufa
  Replies (23) Good night (5260) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (2126) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap. http://tfl.nu/ppqd
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol. http://tfl.nu/h6cv
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/vrl4
  Replies (2) Good night (914) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language http://tfl.nu/6y9g
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (341)

Randomize