Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why don't you ever send me any naked pics

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  (617): Why don't you ever send me any naked pics http://tfl.nu/oqg1
  Replies (8) Good night (1307) Bad night (2598)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks

  (917): View more from New York City

  this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed

  (917): View more from New York City

  he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?

  (718): View more from New York

  messed up. what color are the wings?

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  (917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks (917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed (917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF? (718): messed up. what color are the wings? http://tfl.nu/7ui0
  Replies (11) Good night (2162) Bad night (516)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Tell her she can't have a vagina

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  (517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (590)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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  (404): its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock" http://tfl.nu/i9yu
  Replies (28) Good night (2688) Bad night (497)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.

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  (904): I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever. http://tfl.nu/t49u
  Replies (109) Good night (2389) Bad night (3895)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever

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  (843): you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever http://tfl.nu/z6zx
  Replies (18) Good night (6109) Bad night (570)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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  (913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y
  Replies (29) Good night (6795) Bad night (1308)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

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  (269): I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience. http://tfl.nu/m1cq
  Replies (29) Good night (1111) Bad night (6501)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??

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  (+64): was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ?? http://tfl.nu/6vfo
  Replies (10) Good night (3384) Bad night (743)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.

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  (928): I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready. http://tfl.nu/c6az
  Replies (19) Good night (2198) Bad night (680)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.

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  (304): Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened. http://tfl.nu/gr90
  Replies (8) Good night (2408) Bad night (482)
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  (347): View more from New York

  It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.

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  (347): It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow. http://tfl.nu/mzdk
  Replies (9) Good night (1673) Bad night (725)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.

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  (954): Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake. http://tfl.nu/0nfr
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (294)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.

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  (601): You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs. http://tfl.nu/oyg1
  Replies (3) Good night (207) Bad night (558)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.

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  (210): Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning. http://tfl.nu/jk8r
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (226)

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