worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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