I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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