The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
