I just saw a hot homeless man
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
