can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
do herpes really smell.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
