who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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