I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
