ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
